I joined Twitter (“Twttr”) in April 2008 and loved it. It was like having a silent confidante you could always text hot takes or funny/awkward things to. I left Twitter in 2017, after the presidential election in ’16 permanently changed the platform. I didn’t like that users could type more than 140 characters (and that long-winded users reinvented the IT by turning multiple paragraphs into dozens of Twitter posts in a row.) You can’t spell “Twitter” without “Wit” – That’s why I liked it in the first place.
Recently, great Twttr posts started popping up in my head. I felt a bit of FOMO because I thought I would have gotten dozens of “stars” had I posted these thoughts on my old account. I made up my mind to keep them in a notebook…. Until now.
Presenting: What I Would be Posting Lately Had I Stayed on Twitter.
- Growing up in the 90s means “WWF” will always mean wrestling (sorry wildlife) and “ICP” will always mean juggaleaux (sorry photography)
- “Central Jersey” does not exist
- Dress socks are so you have to shower
- It’s important to remember that money is ephemeral #salespitch
- I used to tolerate Stewart’s and wish for 7-11 – Now, I h8 7-11 & wish for Stewart’s
- Does the Clapper commercial set ppls Clappers off?
- I wish I was with Huey Lewis the first time he heard the Ghostbusters theme
- “I Want a New Drug” : “Ghostbusters Theme” :: USSR National Anthem : Russian Federation National Anthem
- I have officially owned my car for ten years. I am so over it. I want a big old truck with two gas tanks and no back seat.
- Neil’s new autobiography straight up contradicts so many of my previously understood truths about CSNY
- Porters: I always like them, but I never want one
- NZ flexing so hard over how they avoided a pandemic but it’s like………. How ya’ll gonna hang with us antibody-havin MFs in ’22?
- Is Apocalypse Now based on the Wizard of Oz -OR- is the Wizard of Oz based on the Heart of Darkness?
- Every time I listen to Decade I forget it doesn’t have “Ordinary World” and wait / look for it
- Thruway rest stops: AZ Iced Teas @ HALF the size & TWICE the cost!! For 25 years, I have never seen a sub-22 oz AZ, nor have I paid more than $0.99. (pic)
- My wife just told me she likes “Friends” more than “Seinfeld” #questionstoaskbeforemarriage
- Hyundai : Kia :: NSYNC : Backstreet Boys
- This summer I wanna swim in the ocean in the rain
- My axe handle broke. I could spend $30 on a new axe, but instead I am spending over $100 on a new handle, wood glue, metal punch, wedges, sandpaper, linseed oil, blade sharpener #diy #fortheloveofpigiron
- Can’t believe how hard you can push Type IV Metal tape
- I believe deepfake audio / video is to the point where Alex could have hosted Jeopardy forever
- Bachelor Party in NYC: Karaoke/Roast/Stripper. [CHOOSE TWO]
- Instead of going to all that trouble to develop the Challenger, they should have just made the Charger as we know it into a 2-door. #pabstblueribbon
- Ebay is for Wants, Amazon is for Needs
- “‘CAUSE 7 – 8 – 9!!” Well yanno what…. 68 69’d 70.
- Included tonight with my Chinese: an empty, sealed fortune cookie sachet… with crumbs inside? (pic)
- Ducks ≠ Loons
- The Suzuki Samurai is a mechanical Gini indicator: At your exit, Is 66 hp enough to merge?
- I wonder what they did with the green Apple after they made the 45 label: Eat it? Freeze it?
- Kevin Pietersen – Best “Lunch with the FT” of all time; George Soros – Worst
- My great-grandmother had this ancient mechanical pencil she kept near her phone (the only one on the street!) and everyone would come over and take call notes with it… I have it now
- Can one sabrage with a machete? I don’t want to embarrass myself.
- I want to see Roy Ayers play in the sunshine.
Thank you for reading,
L
Leon Ferri 